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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween!!!

This is it... my big day. I have plenty of Candy surprises in store for the next few months but today I thought I'd offer some Tricks and Treats for your enjoyment.

10 Things That Sound Dirty on Halloween, but Aren't ...
1. So, What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling ...
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!!!

Why don't skeletons like parties? They have no BODY to dance with.

Why can't mummies go on vacation? They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!

Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"

What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom? She flies off the handle!

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog? He's mist!

Why couldn't the witch get pregnant? Her husband had a hollow weenie!

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday? Pump kin.

Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.
8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.
6. The person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.
4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.
1. If you don't get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!!


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