Wednesday, April 20, 2005
She's Actually a 40-year-old Midget
My child is doing her best to make me WISH I had Alzheimers. Or a drinking problem. Anything to convince myself that I don't give a shit. But I DO give a shit and I want my daughter to one day become a well-rounded human being. One that doesn't live with me until she's 45.
How have I allowed myself to become manipulated by a six-year-old child? Why do I wish I could bribe her with things so she will behave in school instead of finding my and her teacher's weak point and using it to her advantage? Teachers are professionals in dealing with children, are they not? Yet, when I meet my daughter's teacher, she looks at me as if I have given birth to The Omen child.
The little dear is simply too clever for her age. This isn't something she was taught. Somehow, she knows instinctively how to get 'more bang for her buck' from each person she meets. Even people who admittedly don't like children will give her anything she asks for. She gets a twinkle in her eye and turns on that dimple and every adult around her turns into a puddle of goo. With me, she has learned when to try to charm me. If I'm in a good mood, she's a charmer. If I'm lecturing her on the importance of being a good student, she whines and gives me a guilt trip... explaining that it's simply too much trouble to listen to her teacher s-a-y t-h-e s-a-m-e t-h-i-n-g d-a-y a-f-t-e-r d-a-y.
It's no longer socially acceptable to spank children. I believe that's part of what is wrong with a lot of kids today. They don't need drugs for ADHD, they need a good swat to the pants. I RARELY spank my daughter because I learned when she was 2 that it's not a reliable deterrant. What I mean is, if you swat a kid even semi-regularly, they learn to ignore it so a parent has a choice... they can swat harder, or find an alternative.
At what point am I allowed to admit I've been beaten? When do I get to wave the white flag and say, "whelp, this kid's too much for me, somebody else take her for a spin." ?